FREE GUIDE FOR WOMEN PREGNANT AGAIN AFTER A TRAUMATIC BIRTH OR A NICU STAY

The words for the appointment you’ve been dreading.

Five things to say at your next appointment. Six replies for when someone tells you to be grateful. And a page you can hand to your midwife instead of saying any of it out loud.

15 minutes to read. One email, then you choose whether to hear more.

You’re probably reading this because something happened last time, and you haven’t been the same since. You may also be wondering whether you’re making too much of it.

“I can’t go through that again.”

“I’ve been dreading this appointment since I woke up.”

“Even if the scan is fine, I won’t believe it.”

Women have said these to me almost word for word. Nothing here is unusual and nothing here means anything is wrong with you.

This isn’t a workbook about staying positive. It’s the conversations I have with my private clients about why last time still has a grip on this one.

What’s inside

  • Five things to say at an appointment. For the moments that go wrong fastest: before anything starts, when something’s about to be done to you, when you need a minute.

  • Six replies to the things people say. “At least you’re both here.” “The second one is always easier.” Meant kindly, and they end the conversation.

  • A page you can hand over. Fill it in, give it to your midwife. You don’t have to say any of it out loud.

  • Why none of this is you failing to move on. Three plain-terms reasons, and what actually helps.

  • A way to put it down again. Two minutes at the end, because opening something and leaving you holding it isn’t a kind thing to do to anyone.

I'm Dr Natalie Cook, a Perinatal and Early Years Clinical Psychologist. I completed my doctorate at the University of Oxford and worked in specialist NHS services before founding Little Steps Psychology Practice.

I created this because most pregnant women don't access psychological support until something has already gone wrong. This is the earlier version. The one that meets you where you are, before things escalate.

You deserve this too.