When Pregnancy Doesn’t Feel Magical: Understanding Antenatal Anxiety and Depression
Pregnancy is often described as a time of joy, excitement, and glowing anticipation. Social media feeds and glossy magazines tend to show smiling bumps, blissful couples, and a picture-perfect journey towards parenthood.
But what if your experience looks very different? What if you don’t feel happy, are constantly worried, or struggle to feel connected to your baby?
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many expectant parents find pregnancy difficult, and for some, these feelings are linked to antenatal anxiety and depression. These conditions are more common than most people realise, and recognising them is the first step towards feeling better.
In this blog, we’ll explore what antenatal anxiety and depression are, why they happen, and how you can find ways to cope and seek support.
What Is Antenatal Anxiety and Depression?
The term “antenatal” refers to the time during pregnancy. Antenatal anxiety means experiencing excessive worry, fear, or panic during pregnancy, while antenatal depression refers to ongoing low mood, sadness, or disconnection before your baby is born.
It’s estimated that around 1 in 5 women experience mental health difficulties during pregnancy, and these numbers are likely even higher when including partners and co-parents. These conditions can affect anyone – whether this is your first pregnancy or your fifth, whether the pregnancy was planned or not, and regardless of your circumstances.
Signs and Symptoms
Antenatal anxiety and depression can look different for everyone, but some common experiences include:
Persistent worry about your baby’s health or wellbeing
Fear about birth or your ability to cope afterwards
Difficulty bonding with your bump or imagining life with your baby
Feeling tearful, sad, or emotionally numb
Irritability, restlessness, or feeling “on edge”
Changes in sleep or appetite
Loss of enjoyment in things you usually love
Racing thoughts or panic attacks
If these feelings last more than a couple of weeks, or are interfering with your daily life, it is important to know that support is available.
Why Does This Happen?
Pregnancy is a huge transition – physically, emotionally, and socially. Hormonal changes, sleep difficulties, and the stress of preparing for a baby all play a role. But it’s not all just about biology.
You may be more vulnerable to antenatal anxiety or depression if:
You have a history of mental health difficulties
You’ve experienced pregnancy loss, trauma, or complications in the past
You have limited social support
You’re experiencing financial or relationship stress
Your pregnancy journey has been challenging, such as fertility treatment or time in NICU
It’s important to remember that antenatal anxiety and depression are not your fault. They are understandable responses to a time of big change and uncertainty.
How Antenatal Mental Health Can Affect Bonding
One of the most common worries women and birthing people ask is: “What if I don’t bond with my baby?”
Bonding is not always instant, even after birth. Worrying about connection before your baby arrives can feel frightening, but it doesn’t mean you won’t form a strong, loving relationship.
When anxiety or depression are present, they can make it harder to picture the future, feel positive about milestones, or engage in bonding moments during pregnancy. But with the right support, bonding can and does happen, even if it takes time.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself
If you’re struggling during pregnancy, here are some small, practical steps that might help:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Naming your emotions can create some distance between you and your feelings, and can make them feel less overwhelming, e.g. “I’m noticing that I feel anxious”. It can also help you notice patterns and triggers.
2. Create Connection Moments
Bonding doesn’t have to be big or dramatic. Try:
Talking or singing softly to your bump
Placing your hand on your tummy and noticing your baby’s movements
Writing letters or journal entries to your baby
Even if you don’t always feel a strong connection, these small acts create space for it to grow.
3. Prioritise Self-Care
Pregnancy can leave you feeling exhausted, so small self-care practices matter:
Rest when you can
Gentle movement such as walking or stretching
Eating regularly and staying hydrated
Time outdoors, even for a few minutes a day
4. Talk About It
Sharing your worries with someone you trust can lift some of the weight. Whether it’s a partner, friend, family member, or professional, being heard is powerful.
5. Seek Professional Support
If anxiety or depression are making pregnancy feel unmanageable, professional support can make a huge difference. Talking therapies provide a safe, non-judgemental space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and prepare for bonding with your baby.
The Importance of Early Support
Reaching out for help during pregnancy isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. Early support for antenatal anxiety and depression doesn’t just benefit you; it can also have a positive impact on your baby’s wellbeing too.
When parents feel more supported and less overwhelmed, it becomes easier to prepare for birth, adjust to life with a newborn, and nurture a healthy parent-child bond.
At Little Steps Psychology Practice, we specialise in perinatal mental health, including support for antenatal anxiety, depression, and bonding concerns. Our goal is to help you feel heard, supported, and better equipped to take those little steps into parenthood.
When to Reach Out for Help
If you’re wondering whether your feelings are “serious enough,” the answer is simple: if you’re struggling, you deserve support.
You might benefit from professional help if you are:
Feeling persistently low, anxious, or disconnected
Struggling to function day-to-day
Overwhelmed by guilt or fear about bonding
Experiencing panic attacks or intrusive thoughts
You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable. Support is most effective when sought early.
Final Thoughts
Pregnancy doesn’t always feel magical, and that’s okay. Experiencing antenatal anxiety or depression doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent. It means you’re human, navigating a huge life change, and you deserve compassion and support.
Taking steps to care for your mental health during pregnancy is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and your baby.
If you’d like to explore support tailored to your needs, get in touch with Little Steps Psychology Practice. Together, we can help you move through pregnancy with more confidence, connection, and care.